Bethany's Story

9:45 AM Text: "They are not regular at all. I have to breathe through one here and there. But they are not close and not regular. Def not in "active labor" yet."

10:22 AM Text: "We are on our way home. I'll call you when we're close.

10:23 AM Text: "Okay. Drive safe."

 

And I was on my way to check in with my client. A "typical" start to "possible" early 1st stage labor...

 

Bethany and Josh are dear friends and clients of mine. I met Bethany through her sister almost 12 years ago now. I remember when she had her first baby, and although she'd never loved anything so much in her life before, the first-year battles she experienced recovering from the birth were difficult. She and her family believed based on her experiences that she would probably never want to have another baby again. She would leave that up to other family members after all she has three other sisters! The amazing part, looking back on it now, was not yet knowing that one day I would play a part in Bethany's realization of her inner-strength as a woman and mother, and help ensure a birth experience with positive outcomes so that she could move forward happily, abundantly enjoying the new addition to her family.

Bethany approached me months before she was even pregnant, actually on her birthday, revealing the things she had learned regarding labor and birth and how she felt robbed by the course the birth of her first baby. She seemed determined to have a different experience the next time around, whenever that might be. It actually came as a bit of a surprise to me, (along with extreme delight), that she was interested in hiring a Doula when she found out she was pregnant a couple months later that December. I then knew that if she was to choose me as her Doula, I would do everything I could possibly do to help her feel confident and prepared.

We began meeting in June and decided our first course of action was to discuss what happened in the first birth that she wasn't satisfied with. But, rather than compiling a list of what she didn't want for her current pregnancy and birth, we compiled a list of the things she wanted to do differently. Her list looked something like this:

Though I am fearful of what the sensations of labor might be like without medication, I believe in the body's process, and want to be present before, during, and most importantly after the birth.
I want to avoid induction and medication.
I want a competent, supportive team surrounding me that encourages and respects me throughout the entire process. This includes a Midwife & Assistant, Husband, Mom, and Doula.
I want to encapsulate my placenta to help with recovery and avoid postpartum depression.
I want to labor in the tub and give birth to my baby in the water.
I want the baby to receive the remaining nutrients from her umbilical cord.
I want my baby to be with me immediately after birth.
I want my baby to be healthy and alert and to nurse immediately after birth.
I want my family close and available.
I want to be able to go home at my leisure and recover at home with my new baby and family.

With her plan in hand, we set out to re-educate Bethany and Josh about natural, un-medicated birth. We discussed, in depth, the different stages in labor and what her body was doing during any particular moment in the process, that the beginning part of labor would allow her time in between contractions to establish her rhythm, we discussed how to breathe, relax, and use different positions for pain management to provide comfort and relief, we spent a lot of time on what transition looked like and how that meant labor was in the home stretch. We talked about how pushing offered an opportunity to do something about the intense sensations she would feel during transition and the amazing feeling she would have after she delivered her baby... It was really wonderful teaching and discussing birth as a normal process.

I left the Lake at 10:20 AM, having received an email from Bethany. I sensed her calm control immediately, and felt assured that she had some time ahead of her.

11:30 AM: I was driving into Tacoma, about 45 minutes from home. I called Bethany's phone, Josh picked up…
Doula: "How is she doing?"
Josh: "Very good."
Doula: "When was the last time she ate or drank anything?”
Josh: "She ate at breakfast this morning, at about 9:20. She’s been drinking water all morning.”
Doula: "Okay, let’s get her something to eat."
Josh: "Okay. Here's Bethany." His phone rang, so he handed me the Bethany.
Doula: "Hi, how are you?"
Bethany: "Pretty good. I'm breathing through contractions and I feel pretty good. They are getting a little harder, but I can handle them. Oh, here comes one, hold on..." She said as she proceeded to take about four or 5 slow deep, breaths, two small soft moany-type sounds.
Doula: "You sound great! Good job! Sounds like you’re handling them pretty well…"
Bethany: "Okay, thanks Melly. Got to go..." They were on Josh's phone with the birth center, just letting them know they had begun labor. It sounded like things were starting to rev up a bit, but nothing to be concerned about.

11:58 Text from Doula: We're in Maple Valley, grabbing a quick bite and gas. Should be in Snoqualmie in about 30 minutes…
12:11 Call from Doula: "Hi, what's happening?"
Josh: "Contractions are right on top of each other, did you get my text?"
Doula: "Not yet, but I thought I would call you back and get an update because I hadn't heard back from you." (‘Ding’ text came over as we were speaking: Contractions are right on top of each other…)
Bethany in the background: "Oh my god, Oh my god, Aaaah, Uggggh!!!!” I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach, What if all that time had slowly done work without her knowing and things are turning? I need to get to her! I was comforted my Josh’s calm and loving demeanor with Bethany, but thought – it’s time to go to the birth center or at least call them again – maybe the Midwife will have to come to them…So, I said, "have you called the birth center?"
Josh: "Remember? I did about 30 minutes ago?" I could tell he was a little more concerned this time, excited, but also maybe thought I wasn’t picking up on the urgency of the situation.
Doula: "Yes, but, um, have you called them since things have changed? Have Bethany slow her breathing down and try holding in the yelling." I was trying to see if we could bring her back down at all, see if she had really turned that corner or not…
Josh: "No. I haven't called.” To Bethany, “Honey, good job sweetie. Breathe..." Bethany in the background: "Hold it in? Ugh… Aaaah!!!!" Oh, boy, things have changed…I thought.
Doula: "Ok Josh, what I want you do to is get off the phone with me and call the birth center right now."
Josh:"Ok, got to go..."

12:15: Call from Doula...
Doula: "Did you call the birth center?"
Josh: "Yes....we're heading there now..."
Doula: "Ok, good, I'll meet you there."
Josh: "Ok, great. Got to go…"

12:35: Call from Doula: "How's it going?" A clear ‘transition’ sound of hitting the dashboard and grunting at the same time came from the background...
Josh: "We're almost there, got to go…" contractions were still right on top of each other, and I’m assuming an extreme amount of pressure…

12:55: Call from Josh: "We made it to the birth center; Bethany is 9 1/2 cm!"
Doula: "Awesome! I'm about 2 minutes away..." HOLY… WOW, transition in the car. OUCH. She is a rock star! I thought to myself as I sat at that forsaken light on NE 8th St. for a whole minute!!!!! GREEN LIGHT!!! I turned, pulled into the parking lot, parked, and ran into the birth center…

Midwife: "She's right there, Bethany...okay...breathe" (Crazy energy in that room)
Bethany, clear as a bell: "Oh…I'm going to die."
Kelly, Bethany’s Mom: “Bethany, Melly's here.”
Bethany – in between contractions: "I'm so glad you're here Melly."
Doula: "Me too. Breathe honey.” I stroked her hair and rubbed her shoulders.
Bethany: "Okay..." And as the first of two remaining contractions came on, she re-focused...and pushed once...
Midwife: "Okay, hold it…that's it… That's it, Bethany! Here she comes…"
Doula: "Baby's is right there Bethany, you can do this."
Bethany: "Okay…" SHE knew it – that last push WOULD do it – SHE did it!
Roxanne was born...

Doula: "Baby is out, Bethany. She's coming up to your chest."
Bethany: "Huh? What?" The Midwife brought baby Roxy to her chest!
Bethany: "My baby, here's my baby..." She looks at her baby then looks at Josh, then at me...
Josh: "You did it Bethany, you did it!" He was so amazed by her strength and accomplishment and relieved that they were both healthy and safe.
Doula: "You did it. She's here!" (Amazing energy in the room now: smiling, tears, hugs, kisses)
Bethany: "That was so hard...” She then immediately back at her baby, “Hi Roxanne! Hi Baby..."

Bethany was in one moment changed by her experience. In the minutes immediately following the birth she was amazed at how good and happy she felt and how perfect her baby was. To boot, Roxanne nursed like a champ right away - latched on and ate as if she had been doing it all along. Bethany's mom was there to witness her daughter do the unthinkable, deliver her baby in the water, naturally, with purpose, ambition, and confidence. As if the universe had known all along she would give birth at that very moment, her dad and step mom happened to be in the neighborhood and arrived at the birth center within Roxanne's first hour of life. It was beautiful to watch this family come together and celebrate the hope and wonderment new life brings.

I spent about 3 1/2 hours with her after the birth and massaged her and helped mom and baby get acquainted as we talked about the excitement they had just experienced, recounting all the little things that happened and changed so quickly. We talked about all the preparation we did, and how much time we spent understanding transition, as well as acknowledging the calm, resourceful, informative, consistent presence her strong husband was for her. It was at that moment, I realized something I had already known deep inside: Babies are a miracle. Birth is a mystery. It was at that moment, I felt changed by her experience, and remembered how much Life is a Gift.

Thank you Bethany, Josh, Hunter, and Baby Roxanne

 
Love,

Your Doula

Auntie Melly